


Moon Drunk Monster

by WinterFrost250



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Bloodloss, Full Moon, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mentioned Marauders (Harry Potter), Pain, Suicidal Thoughts, Transformation, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Whump, Worried!Sirius Black, ouchies, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29770665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterFrost250/pseuds/WinterFrost250
Summary: “I know it's hard and you’re tired but you’re doing so good Moony all I need you to do is look at me,” The voice begged him and a broken “Please!” and the smell of cigarettes made the weight a little lighter.When Remus finally opened his eyes the light was blinding. But the black spots that dotted his vision didn’t stop him from making out the person in front of him.Big, worried grey eyes stared into his, Sirius’s eyes. A smile broke onto his face, worried and manic. He took a hand from Remus’s face and ran it through his hair, running red streaks through it. A nervous chuckle escaped his lips, the kind Sirius did when he pulled off something brilliant. Sirius’s legs straddled him as he kept pressure on Remus’s wounds. Sirius’s leather jacket was tied securely around Remus’s waist.---------After a particularly terrible transformation Remus is left bloodied and broken on the floor when Sirius finds him.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 58





	Moon Drunk Monster

October 14th, 1976

All Remus could focus on was the blood rushing in his ears. 

The sound of cracking bones and the tearing of muscles were drowned out by his own pained screams.

Remus lay on the ground as the moon receded down the dark horizon. Here he was, debilitated on the dust-covered floor of the shrieking shack and writhing in pain.

He felt a tooth break from how hard his jaw clenched. His nails raked at the floorboards and bled from the effort. 

Fighting back the wolf at the end was always harder than it was in the beginning. Now, it had a taste of freedom. It was like chaining up a rabid dog set loose after years of captivity. His body shook with the effort.

Remus’s vocal cords were scraped raw as he screamed louder.

Tonight was worse than the others, he was getting older. The wolf was aging with his body. At least that was what Madam Pomfrey had told him; she had been reading a lot of werewolf journals as of late.

Something new though, his body was changing between wolf and human and back again. His arms morphing between fur and flesh. Nails turning to claws that scratched at his arms.

A tortuous hug dug sharp claws into his stomach. And tore from the sides to the middle, carving strong, jagged lines. Like cutting through melted butter.

Thick blood coated Remus’s hands and spilled out onto the floor. Not that Remus noticed, his mind yelling louder than his wounds. His ears rang like church bells and his knees like silver spoons. Wooden splinters stabbed like daggers into his skin.

His screams were incoherent and a string of babbling swears. His ears popped and his elbows contorted as Remus slammed his body into the floor. The wolf was trying to run, moving Remus’s legs faster than Remus could stop them. His body was fighting against him and all he could do was watch and latch onto the old bedpost. His mind was a jarred and incoherent mess of mania and panicked irrational thoughts. 

When Remus felt the sun on his skin, only then did the wolf settle inside of him. His body stopped morphing. He laid there, human and flesh and bone and bleeding onto the floor. The oak staining a pink as Remus’s mind was brought back into control. 

The sun warmed his cheeks and the tears that ran there.

Remus’s muscles sighed as he laid limp against the old wooden bed. His bones breathed a sigh of relief when he could stop fighting. He swallowed a dry gasp when he could feel his wound again.

The adrenaline allowed him to feel a quiet stinging throughout Remus’s torso but not much else. Remus held a hand up to his eyes and the sunlight made the blood glisten as it ran down his wrists.

He knew that Sirius was waiting for him outside. He knew that he was usually back by now but he couldn’t make himself get up. Remus wondered how James was doing in his quidditch match against Slytherin. He hoped James won, if Remus was lucky, Emma Vanity took a dive straight into the pitch headfirst. She was the one who had teased Peter on his weight in 4th year.

Remus knew Sirius was waiting for him but he couldn’t feel his legs. The numbness inching up his body like an infection, not that Remus minded, he was warm. Minutes passed and Remus’s vision speckled with black dots.

Another sigh raked through his body when he heard a door open. Hesitant steps made their way to the bottom of the stairs. Remus didn’t bother thinking too much about it. The creaking of the steps got closer and closer, incredulously slow.

“...Moony?” A voice called out from somewhere next to him. Remus couldn’t be bothered to raise his head. Everything was so heavy. 

When the creaking reached the top step there was a pause.

“Oh Merlin,” A voice cracked from his left, “Oh my god, Remus.”

Remus could feel hands on his face then, soft, warm hands that wiped something wet from his cheeks.

“Merlin,” the voice mumbled again and again, “Holy shit. Episkey! Moony, can you hear me bud?”

The hands left his face for a moment, a pressure on his stomach and then they were back. A new warmth coated the hands that held his head up. Remus’s eyes barely open. 

“Moony, Remus.” The voice was farther away now, Remus assumed it was because of the bloodloss. The only thing keeping conscious was the smell of cigarettes and cologne. The voice smelled like Sirius, Remus thought idly. He wondered what Sirius would think when he didn’t come out from under the whomping willow in an hour...or three. 

Maybe it was better this way, Remus thought seriously. This way he couldn’t hurt anyone ever again. He couldn’t hurt himself, the pain would stop. And God Remus was in so. much. pain. No more sensory overloads clogging his ears during classes, no more hiding and no more agonizing moonlit nights. He would miss them, he thought. James’s obnoxious laugh, Peters worried tics, Sirius’s...Sirius. Chocolate too, his mind changed the subject. He’d miss studying with Lily and laughing with Marlene. It didn’t really matter, they’d still have all their lives and Moony wouldn’t have to have his anymore. He had lived enough, he thought, it's not like he could ever get a job anyway. Or start a family. He was ok with dying if his friends would be ok. Maybe if he just drifted off to sle-

“Remus, hey Remus look at me.” The voice cut through his thoughts, “Please look at me, don’t close your eyes. Episkey! Episkey!” Remus tried, oh did Remus try, but everything was too heavy. 

“I know it's hard and you’re tired but you’re doing so good Moony all I need you to do is look at me,” The voice begged him and a broken “Please!” and the smell of cigarettes made the weight a little lighter.

When Remus finally opened his eyes the light was blinding. But the black spots that dotted his vision didn’t stop him from making out the person in front of him. 

Big, worried grey eyes stared into his, Sirius’s eyes. A smile broke onto his face, worried and manic. He took a hand from Remus’s face and ran it through his hair, running red streaks through it. A nervous chuckle escaped his lips, the kind Sirius did when he pulled off something brilliant. Sirius’s legs straddled him as he kept pressure on Remus’s wounds. Sirius’s leather jacket was tied securely around Remus’s waist.

“Merlin Moony,” Sirius let out a shaky breath, “You scared me shitless for a second there. Let's get you to ‘Pomfrey eh?” Sirius gave Remus a look he’d never seen before, relief and something else.

Sirius got off of Remus and then quickly picked him up. Sirius held him up from under his knees and shoulders. Remus heard Sirius absently muttering to himself as he carried Remus down the stairs and made his way through the thickly rooted tunnel of the willow.

Every sense in Remus’s head was going at a thousand times an hour, he could hear every bird and smell every flower within a 3 mile radius. But all he could focus on it seemed, was Sirius’s heartbeat and the smell of that god-awful cologne. Maybe this was worth living for, he thought quietly. And that is what Remus fell asleep to, in Sirius Blacks arms.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short little thing. And definitely not my best work haha. I noticed there was a severe lack of Remus transformation angst and decided to change that lmao
> 
> love y'all! <3


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